i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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