new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
