since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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