she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
