How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize