She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm sobbing to NWA
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
