He uses pillows to masturbate.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My life is pants optional.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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