More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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