We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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