Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
