Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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