I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We are all done wearing pants today
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
