i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
