she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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