You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
