Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I can't turn off my feet"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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