oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
