dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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