Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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