okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize