Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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