i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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