Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
