Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes