I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water