i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life