...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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