WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
NoShamevember. You game?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
