so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
