don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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