We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
