i don't like sucking hair
Define "chronic" masturbator.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
