The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Randomize