M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
