so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize