I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize