Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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