Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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