I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
