Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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