the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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