community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
