Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
