these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
