Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
