Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
