have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
