I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
