Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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