I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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