i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just cropdusted the office
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
