He is an equal opportunity slut.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
