What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
