you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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