Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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