Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
