CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
