Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
