Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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