Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
