she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
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