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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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