maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
