So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
then he tried to convert me to islam
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
