I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
