I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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