id be glad to
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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