win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
