to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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