GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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