We got so high we made milksteak
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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