It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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