I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
